A Womans Place in Star Wars: How Embracing Being a Fangirl Changed My Life

With harmful videos circulating of a specific Star Wars content creator reacting to another content creator's video as she discusses how “Star Wars should be left behind for the men”, and that “Women don't even like Star Wars” I sit here exhausted as read the comment section full of harmful rhetoric about Women in the Star Wars fandom. I have been in the Star Wars fandom since age seven and I can not remember a time when I wasn't sexualized, fetishized, or mocked and dehumanized for loving a galaxy far far away, and I ask myself why can't women have a place in star wars? Since 1977 Star Wars has been a platform that represented women as leaders of armies, and planets, they master the force and are given the platform to do it without being questioned because of their gender or ethnicity. Star Wars has given women around the world characters to aspire to be like with qualities like hope, and loyalty, within these beautiful stories of falling in love and finding a family that isn't by blood but are the friends around you. So why does it feel like anytime a woman enters the fandom or shares her fan theory, fanfiction, or art she is criticized for being a fan or even existing within that same fandom? These are the questions I find myself asking every time harmful content and rhetoric are spread throughout this fandom, and these questions should not need to be asked.

Me at the Star Wars Identities Exhibition

I started this journey into the Star Wars fandom at age seven after being introduced to the prequels by my father. When I started wearing Revenge of the Sith T-shirts and carrying a Darth Vader backpack at school I remember coming home crying after having been mocked all day by fellow peers for liking something that was meant for “boys” and being so confused by the idea of one gender owning a movie. Later on that year, I helped my dad as a vendor at a comic book show, I saw a woman dressed up as Padme and realized for the first time, that I was not alone and that woman could like Star Wars too. I want to say from that moment on I became unashamed of being a Star Wars fan but that wouldn't be true, I found myself mocked similarly that year when I dressed up as Darth Vader for Halloween (because there were not any Padme costumes) but I always took solace in the factor I knew I was not alone. 

Me at The Force Awakens opening night cosplaying as Rey

After years and years of fandom, the mocking and dehumanizing comments became too much and I decided to stop wearing Star Wars shirts and my Vader Backpack so I could “fit in” more with my peers, but Star Wars always stayed as a point of bonding between me and my Dad. After years of keeping my fandom close to my chest, the announcement of the upcoming Sequel Trilogy was such an emotional experience for me, seeing a woman being cast as the lead of the trilogy. I felt maybe now was the time when I could be welcomed into the fandom with open arms, as I stood in line waiting to be let into the theatre with my dad and best friend (Trace) at my side being dressed as Rey and Kylo Ren, I found myself becoming emotional seeing little girls in the line behind me with their family’s being so excited, for something that I found myself at there age being mocked for enjoying. After the film ended and I was leaving the theatre, I had a little girl come up to me dressed as Rey and ask to take a picture after taking the picture she ran off. Her dad came up to me and told me how she was being made fun of for being a girl who likes Star Wars and how when she saw me standing in line she told him “See dad, girls can like Star Wars too”. At that moment I felt tears welling in my eyes and I thanked him for sharing that story with me.

One of my Seven journeys to see The Force Awakens

It was the first time in my fandom experience that I felt seen and not alone in my love for Star Wars. After that showing and seven more screenings of The Force Awakens, I started discovering a community of women sharing their love for Star Wars from podcasts to blogs to fanfiction and shipping Reylo. I found myself surrounded online by women who loved Star Wars as much as I did! But very quickly that peace, excitement and sense of community became attacked, criticized and mocked but this time it wasn't from some seven-year-old classmates who said “Star Wars was for boys” it was from grown adults sending death threats and hate speech because of a woman feeling comfortable enough to share her fandom for Star Wars proudly with other people who enjoyed Star Wars just as much as any other fan. I sat and watched as this hatred pushed Rey herself (Daisy Ridley) off the internet along with so many other women in the fandom, and I got brought back to those moments when I stopped wearing the Star Wars shirts and Vader backpack. I realized that I should not have to change who I am and what I love for a small group of people who are not willing to accept me within the fandom, from that moment on I started celebrating what I loved about Star Wars with people who loved the same parts of Star Wars as I did. 

Me and my favourite Star Wars Podcast host Courtney from Knights of Rant

The Star Wars community has always been ever-changing and ever-growing and as it grew I grew too I went from a girl who loved Reylo and Cosplaying characters from the sequel series to a girl who now finds comfort in shows like Rebels and Ahsoka and sharing my love for Star Wars in fashion and writing, but as I have grown in this community one thing that I have began to love is the group of amazing women I have befriended throughout my journey and as I look back at that girl with the star wars shirt and Vader backpack, I wish I could tell her that Star Wars has no gender and that eventually she will find that community she is seeking and that she will never have to stop hiding being a fangirl again. 

me my father and Carrie Fisher

Within hours of seeing this content creator’s video come up and reading so many negative comments about women within the Star Wars community, I saw a beautiful trend start to emerge filling my feeds and timelines of the “I am tired” trend with women sharing the love, joy and beauty that the Star Wars fandom has brought into their lives and how they are tired of people saying they are not welcome within this space and it brought me to tears. Women deserve a space within the Star Wars fandom. It is times like this within the Star Wars fandom where I think of my favourite quote of all time from Rose Tico “We're going to win this war not by fighting what we hate, but saving what we love!” Thank you all for reading and until next time May the Force be with you- Chloesfandomlife