How Clone Force 99 Helped Me Come to Terms with My Disability

As the final season of Bad Batch nears its conclusion, I wanted to take a moment to share a personal experience with you. As an adult with multiple disabilities, I have found solace and strength in the characters of the show, and my personal journey of seeing characters who were similar to me moved me on such a deep level. The Bad Batch has been a valuable source of support for me, and I am grateful for the opportunity to witness their story unfold.

I have known for a long time that my brain doesn't function like others in elementary school I was put almost right away into a special needs class and do not remember a time when I did not struggle with reading, math or remembering things that pertained to schooling. In 2007 after being recommended by my family doctor to see a specialist, I was diagnosed with Irlens Syndrome. Irlens Syndrome is a type of visual or perceptual processing disorder that involves issues with sight or vision. When an individual suffers from Irlen Syndrome, their brain has difficulty processing certain wavelengths of light. In this way, light (especially bright and fluorescent lighting) becomes a stressor on the brain. This stress causes certain parts of the brain (e.g., the visual cortex) to become overactive. At the time I did not really understand what any of that meant all I knew was that after going through countless tests to figure out this diagnosis, I was given a set of grey-tinted glasses that were supposed to help with my light sensitivity and processing issues.

Me wearing my Irlens syndrome glasses 

What they didn't tell me was how cruel and mean people (not just children) would be towards me looking visually different with my darker glasses. On the first day, I stepped into school with my new Irlens glasses, I was mocked and made fun of, which made me take them off and not wear them for the full day. Even though I knew that wearing these glasses would help me over time, I was still a child who longed to fit in and feel accepted by her peers. So, I wore the glasses when needed, but for me, wearing them was seen as the last resort. I continued to wear my Irlens glasses throughout middle school and into high school, but I found alternative methods that could help me with my Irlens, such as using grey paper for all my exams and tinted overlays for textbooks. These methods didn't involve me having to wear darkly tinted glasses.

It is not often mentioned that once you leave school, as someone with disabilities you need to learn how to advocate for yourself. I have consistently struggled with this in my adult life, as I find it hard to stand up for myself even in simple misunderstandings due to my anxiety and fear of conflict. This has resulted in workplaces either not understanding or not wanting to accommodate me because they see me as a liability. Additionally, In some workplaces, I have faced relentless bullying from co-workers due to my differences and struggles with tasks that may appear easy to others. I used to blame myself and my disabilities for my daily struggles. However, while watching episode nine of Bad Batch season two, a line from Tech completely changed my perspective on myself and my Irlen's syndrome.                      

"I may process moments and thoughts differently, but it does not mean that I feel any less than you"-Tech Ep 2x09

This quote helped me reconsider my struggles with Irlen syndrome. It made me realize that my fear of being perceived as different and wearing dark grey glasses was unnecessary. Instead, I understood that wearing those glasses was perfectly fine and nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, they helped me in my daily life. As a result of this realization, I have seen a complete shift in myself. I have started advocating for myself in the workplace and in everyday situations because my disabilities do not make me any different from anyone else, it just means I process things differently. In May, I will be receiving my new pair of Irlen Syndrome glasses and I could not be more excited!

The final season of Bad Batch is currently airing, and it's heartening to see numerous fans express their appreciation for the show. From the representation of physical disabilities in Echo to the portrayal of Tech's autistic-coded character, the series has resonated with many Star Wars fans. It has made them feel seen and represented in a way that has been so meaningful to the fandom. I am glad to say that it has also had a lot of significance to me and my journey of accepting my disability. Have you felt represented by any characters within the Bad Batch series? If so, please tell me below in the comments or on Instagram. Until next time, be kind to one another, and may the force be with you - Chloesfandomlife.